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How to online book club – a dramedy
How to online book club – a dramedy

Alright kids – you’ve been wondering ‘how to online book club.’ Google says. So we thought we’d explore the life events that would lead to one Googling such a subject.

2011

You’ve finally found your niche in college – while you were about ready to breakdown and join a sorority, you finally found some likeminded nerds in your English lit class. Praise be. Things you enjoy doing: drinking PBR on the rooftop of the dorms, smoking cigarettes (you thought it was cool) and talking about books – its more of a rooftop book club rather than an online book club – because Facebook is still a place where you post on walls, display your bumper stickers and play Farm Town (sadly not joking).

2012

 You’ve graduated – congratu-effing-lations. The world is your oyster – or so you think – but the financial crisis begs to differ. You apply for grad schools in fear that you will never find a job until you find one that you feel is scraping the barrel – but whatevs, it pays.

2015

After a couple years of job hopping, you’ve finally found a job you love and co-workers you can drink with. You’re ‘burning the candle at both ends’ as they say – working hard to meet deadlines and then partying hard till 5 AM after you wrap up on Friday. You think this is what they mean by work-life balance.

2016

Your hangovers have turned into two day hangovers and you quickly start ignoring the Whatsapp groups making plans for Friday nights. Sure you’ll go a few times but you’d rather watch three Netflix seasons a weekend without a killer headache. You’re a bit bummed as you’ve become out of touch with things you once enjoyed – like reading and writing – and have lost touch with your nerdy friends in favor of your party friends, who you don’t see much of any more either.

Early 2017

 Your Netflix watching has gone from a cute bad habit to critical. You use the black screen that says ‘Still watching?’ as a mirror. You join a Meetup group but the people are not your people. You join a book club and quit because they’re reading Dean Koontz. You are beginning to think you might be the only weirdo like you on the planet.

Late 2017

You’ve given up on IRL friends and Google ‘How to online book club.’ Google points you to this amazing book subscription service called Bad People Book Club, and you sign up. You love it. At first you start on your own, then you listen to the podcast and think AJ and Abbey are your best friend soulmates. Then you get involved in the forum and meet some other weirdos from around the country who love to talk about books but aren’t pretentious wankers.

This restores your faith in humanity, and you begin having casual chats with other people around you who surprisingly are also members of the club. You begin using the book club box with them. A month later you win the lottery. You meet the love of your life and then your ex tells you he made a mistake in letting you go and you send him a picture of your totally hot soulmate that has a six-pack, a nice car and volunteers in a homeless shelter on the weekend. You now Google things like ‘is being too happy normal?’ and ‘where is the best place to donate my money that I have so much of?’ Your life is awesome, and you live happily ever after. Go you.

By Abbey Jones || 18 dec, 2017